Overwhelmed

I realize I have not blogged anything real deep as of late. And perhaps that is partially due to my lack of being deep lately. Not to mean that I don't have deep thoughts or moments, but that I have been so overwhelmed with the "deep" in my life that I do not have (seemingly) any time to just sit back and process.

And when I do, I feel as though I allow myself to begin a downward spiral of depressing and negative thoughts. My main goal is to begin focusing more on God's grace and saving power in my life. He IS my Lord and Sovereign Savior. There is NO other. He ALONE deserves my adoration and worship in the utmost sincerity and transparency.

And yet...I am called to be unified with the body of Christ in the same way the Trinity is unified. How is that possible? We have been so trained to be strong enough on our own, to resist help or "charity" and to keep our hardships and struggles to ourselves. By hardships and struggles, I mean anything from sin to financial to relationship issues. We are taught that we can handle it on our own, we certainly don't need help.

Of course we all have our friendships where we are this transparent and unified. But not always with the whole Body. And I would like to be. So often, though, I think I get caught up in my pride that I am not willing to put myself out there to be hurt or offended long enough to develop these intimate relationships with other believers. And why not? For who else on earth would understand as wholly as these people who share this sweet sweet grace of Christ? They alone understand His importance and my struggles with remembering to place Him above all else. The non-believer does not understand that He must reign or all else is doomed for failure.

I think that I most definitely have moments where I think of myself more highly than I ought, which Paul warned me against in Philippians. In those exact words. God knew. He knew this would always be an issue. Even in my own family I see myself comparing, one-upping, and other things, constantly trying to make myself seem better than I really am. Even in my family! The one place (other than the church) where I should be accepted and loved no matter my faults.

Not that those faults should be condoned, but accepted. We all have them, and as we hold each other accountable and grow, these faults should fade as Christ begins to shine.

See? Overwhelmed.

As I live my life, and He directs my paths, I pray that I will constantly be aware of my sin which is "ever before me" (Psalm 51:3) without drowning in it, but rather being washed in the grace of Christ each and every day. For His grace truly is enough for each day. I am no longer condemned, but free to serve His grace and mercy each day. (Romans 8:1)

"O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above"

(sing365.com - "Come Thou Fount")

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Let's all be immensely thankful for His grace.